At nearly nine months pregnant Jamie and I were browsing on Kijiji for something (I have no idea what for) but we went to this person’s home to have a look and it was filled with toys. To my minimalist, idealistic and not-yet-a-parent this was my worst nightmare. We walked out of that house and said to each other as soon as we got into the car that our house was never going to look like that. Kids didn’t need so many toys and all of that baby gear, like the bouncer? How useless. Says the mom whose kids are in bed and the living room space looks like we held up a toys r us.
Oh, and Olivia? She was never going to eat McDonalds. Kids don’t need fries. Or juice. Or junk food. Says the mom who has lost track of the amount of times we’ve stopped to grab a happy meal because let’s face it, it’s quick. and Juice? Uh, we drink a lot of juice.
Breastfeeding is such an inconvenience. I couldn’t even imaging breastfeeding a baby – the discomfort, the amount of time. Says the Mom who’s kid nursed until two.
Who lets kids sleep in their bed? That’s such an intrusion of your space. They should learn to sleep in their crib, from birth. Says the Mom who has gone through two cribs in four years and both have been slept in a handful of times.
Why are you still wearing maternity pants? It’s been three months since you had that kid!? Says the mom that lives in leggings. There is something to be said about comfort when you’re chasing after the kids.
Oh my god. Why are you letting your kid to you like that? Says the mom that drills manners into the kid like crazy and is still faced with that threenager attitude every so often.
My kid is not going to watch TV, ever. Says the mom whose kid can likely work netflix better than 98% of most adults and offer you tech support advice when Siri isn’t working on your iPad.