Forty five minutes after Jamie and Olivia left for school and work, Violet and I were having a leisurely snack of the pistachios left over that I shelled for Olivia’s snack when I realized pistachios are nuts.
I am an idiot.
An idiot who is on the first ‘real’ morning of school and sent nuts as part of a snack to a ‘nut aware’ school.
I panicked. There were some swears. Swears that Violet repeated.
What do I do? Do I phone the school? Do I google for advice? Do I go run into snack time screaming to put down that wean green container?
I phoned the school. No one answered. I phoned back, and explained that I had a total #momfail, admitted I was a rookie and that I sent in pistachios with my kids snack, could they possibly let the teacher know not to let her open the glass container of nuts that was in her bag. I apologized profusely, for the epic rookie move.
On hold for the longest minute, all I could picture were alarms and HAZMAT suits – because you know I’m a crazy person, and it went a little something like this.
“CODE BLUE! THERE’S NUTS IN THE HALLWAY. EVACUATE. OLIVIA’S MOM IS TRYING TO KILL ALL THE KIDS”
Now I’m just waiting for a letter of shame to be sent home in the TACO book.