“My plane is definitely going to crash. Don’t sell my KitchenAid mixer though. Use it. Bake with the kids. Okay?”
There are very few days of the year that anxiety gets the best of me, but when it comes to traveling alone, without the kids, without Jamie, that’s one of those times.
Going on a press trip earlier this month, I was anxiety ridden for the two days before the trip. My plane was definitely going to crash, and I didn’t clean the floors downstairs before I left, or organize the closets, so Jamie wasn’t going to be able to find anything, and he was going to have dirty floors, and we hadn’t yet finalized my life insurance because we just finalized his (yay! adults!) and how were the kids going to remember the smell of fresh baked bread when they came home from schoool…
The spiral into situational anxiety around travel continued far into the night where I woke Jamie up at three am and he assured me that the plane was probably not going to crash, and people travel for work a few times a week and not just a couple of times a year. I was going to be fine.
We’ve got fantastic benefits, and access to therapists, family physicians to ease the anxiety with a simple prescription for Ativan – but that’s not always the case. Mental health services aren’t always accessible. Only one third of the people who require mental health related services will receive treatment. And a lot of these people? They’re going to be held back by the stigma of anxiety/depression/mental health related illnesses. One of the reasons that it’s so important for me to break this stigma is because I didn’t know that being so irritated all the time, being so angry, six months after Violet was born was actually postpartum depression. Without access to mental health care, I would have gone on being what felt like the worst mom in the world.
I’m thankful that at this point, it’s just irrational travel anxiety.