“It’s like two o’clock. Why have you not given the kids lunch yet? Lunch is at noon and dinner is at six”
Really? Over the phone parenting advice from the person who has been at work since eight thirty? Followed up by the day that he called me so many times to remind me to do something that I still haven’t gotten around to doing. Isn’t parenting simple when you’re not actually in it, at that moment, and you’re just railing off solutions and unsolicited advice over the phone?
Today, when I told him to stop calling me, he had the nerve to get moody with me.
It was perfect timing. You know the drill – whenever you get on the phone, they’re screaming, they’re screaming, and they’re running around you like the miniature crazy people they are.
Out of sheer irritation, and ranting, and a lack of wine because let’s face it, it’s only 2:00, I sent a desperate text message to one of my best friends, complaining about husbands who make you so annoyed you want to stab yourself in the arm.
“Just turn on your call forwarding to a pizza place” she said.
Did I mention she’s a genius? It worked, when I phoned him back a couple of hours later, I think he got the point.