Olivia’s friend: What’s wrong with your face?
Me: Uh. I put on some eyeliner?
Olivia’s friend: Oh. You look different. You should make sure you wear make up all the day.
Olivia’s little friends are so flattering. I’ll file that one away for later and make a note to get out the formal wear for the next time the kid comes over.
Then there’s tonight, after parent teacher, where we had the proud parenting moment of the humping dinosaurs.
Jamie: Do you smell that? What is that smell? It smells like Ichiban noodles.
Jamie: Are you sure you didn’t get some ichiban and hide it in the couch?
Me: What does that even smell like?
Him: I don’t know.
This morning was swimming registration morning which means that I had to wake up at six am to eighteen different alarms so I could be locked out of the swimming registration website because the other 984,000 parents wanting to get that spot that coincided with their other kid’s gymnastics were trying to get on the site. I didn’t even get my first choice so getting up that early, a good 90 minutes before Olivia, after stupidly staying up until almost two am, seems even more stupid than usual.
We built an epic snow fort over the last couple of days. It’s finally nice enough that I want to spend time outside, and I’ve discovered the fantasticness of having snowpants and being able to sit in the snow. Sure, it’s going to be gone when we get back from Canmore this weekend, probably, but while we built it, and while it’s play-in-able, it’s awesome. All the play though? It comes with a price.
The birthday party from the weekend, the long list of things that need to be organized and tidied and the giant pile of things that I’m purging on the swap websites, the fact that I don’t know how to work the Swiffer Wetjet (does it take batteries)? are compounding and I’m nearly delusional.
Jamie took all of the laundry out of the laundry room and put it in the entryway hallway because he is trying to shame me into putting it away. It didn’t work, it just made me trip over it.
There is a list of 20 things that need to be cleaned and organized – and just thinking about it is making me so. so. tired. Tired like when you were younger, hungover and you pretended to have to go pee, frequently, just so you could sit down while you were working helping others to find swimwear.
So, here we are. There’s a smell on the couch, a giant hallway full of laundry, 10+ things to do in my Wunderlist App, vanishing floor in the kids rooms, endless recycling that needs to be sorted, a bicycle trailer that needs to be assembled, bags that need to be packed, meal plans that need to be made, and I’m here, pretending that I am peeing because the thought of getting up to clean the house is just too much.
Jamie: comes downstairs, Oh, I didn’t know we were there yet. Why are you pooping with the door open?
Me: We are not there, I am just too tired right now to get up. I am too tired to adult right now. I was peeing, and now I am resting and redditing (because that’s a verb).
Him: Audible eye roll, What are you going to have for dinner?
Me: Raspberry puff tarts
Raspberry Puff Tarts: Mix up some raspberries and honey, squish ’em good. Top small pieces of rolled out puff pastry, bake for twenty minutes, then drizzle with honey and some icing sugar. You won’t ever have to buy emergency pop tarts for those bad days ever again.