Do you want to know an amazing thing? The health of a man and his financial well-being stand on the fragile emotional foundation of marriage. Get out of the abyss relations – and save your life. Find out how to do it with us!
Even happily married guys sometimes think about the benefits of bachelor life. Here you are sitting in a bar, and there are dancing naked waitresses around … The reality, unfortunately, is not so effective. There are statistics: divorced and single men, for example, have 39% higher probability of suicide. And even if you, leaving your spouse, will not kill yourself, then you will die earlier. Sad, but true.
Yes, and chasing skirts, according to scientists, does not really work out: without a wife, you will be less likely to go out to parties and birthdays, and where else an adult man can get acquainted with a decent young lady? There will also be difficulties with finances – a divorced man has 4 times less money than he would have if he had not married at all. So we have collected a few tips that can protect you from the misfortunes that are falling on the newly baked bachelor. Save your marriage before it’s too late!
Choose a good explanation for her actions. When you come home late from work – it’s “because there were a lot of things you had to do.” And if she lingers – then “she just was not in a hurry to go home.” Psychologists call such an inadequate assessment “attribution error.” Do not give in to it. Explain her actions yourself to with noble motives, do not wind up too much. Believe us, you can greatly help your marriage if you just change your point of view.
Get rid of the negative. Set an experiment: how many days can you not say anything negative about her and do not criticize her? This is advised to you by Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt, who wrote 10 books about the relationship together. By the way, sarcasm is also considered negative, because it “destroys intimacy”. Words matter. Follow the verbal hygiene as rigorous, as well as intimate hygiene.
The foot massage creates miracles, and a head massage is a worthy way out of any situation.
Write her letter on paper. Scientists from the University of Denver investigated the relationship of servicemen on long-range lines with loved ones who stayed at home. And that’s what they found out: letters written by hand have a more beneficial and lasting impact on relationships with wives than SMS or other electronic messages. The digital age can be called the century of the surrogate. “Use the organical” at every opportunity!
Watch a hot video together. Sex as a method of reconciliation does not solve the problem itself. As a result, you save the irritation in yourself, and this kills an intimate desire. Differentiate conflicts and bed, do not use sex for anything, except mutual pleasure. And before the “date” watch some sex videos (advice: women like romance) to drive out the last superfluous thoughts from the head.
First, just listen. “Men are so organized, they rush to solve problems, protect women they love,” says Shiri Cohen, a family therapist at Harvard University. But often a woman just needs to speak out, nothing more. The next time she complains about how bad she is at work, do not rush to make her a new resume, but just ask about everything in detail. And if it seems to you that you know how to act – tell about it later, in a separate conversation.
Push the buttons that she likes. Family psychologist Harriet Lerner gives brilliant advice in her book about the secrets of marriage (“Marriage Rules”): remember at least three things that she loves. Curd cake, yellow tulips, Kanye West’s first album – whatever. It will come in handy to hit it.
Always look for ways to turn the “I” into “we”. Let’s see what Gary Lewandowski, a psychologist at the University of Monmouth, found out: “According to research, relations are better in couples where a man and a woman feel themselves as one creature and behave accordingly.” Well, yes, your coach said correctly: team spirit above all!
Thanks to our friends from Marry Brides for providing this article.